It is not often that an obituary of a virtually unknown person makes national news, but when Col. Edward Thomas Ryan died earlier this month from intestinal cancer, it made the national media. Granted, Ryan accomplished much during his eighty-five years, but it was his last act that became newsworthy for its poignant honesty. Born in Rensselaer, New York, Ryan accomplished much in a long life of service – as a colonel in the U.S. Army during Vietnam; as a firefighter for more than two decades; as an active member of the American Legion, the Elks, the Knights of Columbus and Veterans of Foreign Wars and as the co-owner/founder an Albany-based of radio station (WHRL-FM).  Ryan was also a gay man who was only able to come out in his obituary with a self-written statement at its end, apologizing for not having the courage to reveal who he was. In this statement, Ryan also revealed that he had had a 25-year relationship with the “love of his life,” Paul Cavagna, who passed away in 1994 and next to whom he would be buried Like many LGBT persons of his generation, he explained that he was “afraid of being ostracized by family, friends, and co-workers.”  As he said, “Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it.” It is ironic that Ryan’s signature phrase as a firefighter was “piece of cake,” yet he was unable to lead a more open, freer life.  However, his last public act, apart from donating his body to science, has become a moving touchstone and even triumphant lesson for anyone – regardless of their true identity – who wishes to live authentically.

 “I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. … Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”  Edward Thomas Ryan

Categories:

Tags:

Comments are closed